I have had a very rough week. My frustration level has never been higher. A certain amount of it is my personality, and a certain amount of it is the feelings of no longer being in control and having to depend on other people for so many things. On Tuesday I hit my limit and had a crisis of sorts. After talking to my nurse from the MS clinic I called my neurologist to get some medication for depression and anxiety. He is starting my on Lexapro. He said it would take a few weeks to get the full effect. I sure hope it works well, and the sooner the better because I am just barely keeping it together mentally.
Ever since the MS diagnosis I have been having a whole host of issues. This week it has been what I call "slowness". I am not sure if there is a medical term for it, or even what is actually the problem (maybe the lesions), but I am having difficulty with things like words and speech, and my head feels "heavy". Last night it was like "drunkenness", and it was kind of scary. I had this a couple of other times in the last few weeks, but I think last night was the worst of the episodes. I finally went from my recliner to bed about 3:30 a.m. and laid there with that funny feeling in my head for awhile. It seemed literally like hours had passed when I checked the time, but it was only 4:15- 45 minutes later. That was the scary part I guess, that it seemed that time had slowed to a crawl. I am not sure about this, but I am going to bring it up at my next opportunity to someone on my healthcare team.
Earlier yesterday I went to the monthly MS patients group meeting. It was only my second time, but the group welcomed me like I was a veteran. They showed a short film about the research on MS, and there was a discussion and handouts. There are some really nice folks in that group and they are very willing to help out, and it seems that everyone is willing to share their experiences and knowledge. I brought up the incredible soreness in my legs and the "knots", and a few in the group indicated that they had similar experiences but that maybe they would pass. They also gave me some tips to avoid this.
Today I woke up about 11:30 a.m. and was still "slow". I had trouble even trying to figure out if I had anything to get accomplished today. After a short while I decided I needed more sleep so I went back to bed from 1 p.m. to 3:45 p.m. When I awoke I felt a little better, but the slowness was pretty persistent. I just decided not to worry about anything at all and just watch t.v. and rest.
This evening I talked to Lisa for awhile and got on Facebook for quite awhile. Maybe tomorrow I will feel a little better. I sure have a ton of stuff to get done this weekend.
